Of Angels and Demons

Friday night I went to see "Angels & Demons". I enjoyed both of Dan Brown's books and other than Tom Hanks' hair in "DaVinci Code" I have enjoyed both movies. Before I left work Friday I mentioned that we were planning on seeing the movie. A Catholic coworker made a comment about my coming into work Monday and making comments about now knowing everything that's wrong with the Catholic church and how he didn't want to hear it. I calmly mentioned that I knew there were problems with "Mother Church" long before watching these movies or reading either book. It takes more than a silly little book to change my opinions on things. Apparently it also takes more than a silly little book to start a major world religion, but that's another post.

On Large Hadron Disappointments

Well it's Wednesday and we're all still here. While I was hoping to go in my sleep this morning at 3:30 AM I instead awoke to the screeching of my alarm clock. Yes, I guess deep down I'm glad that the world continues and the Earth wasn't swallowed up in a man-made blackhole of doom, but I'm not sure how I'm going to cover maxing out all three credit cards and telling my boss what I really think yesterday.

Note to self: in the future make sure the world is ending before setting "Plan:Endtimes" in motion...

"Muse"-ings

I sit staring at a blank sheet of bristol. I've done this before. All I have to do is move the pencil in a certain manner and it produces a faint grey line on the paper. After a few moments these lines appear to become pictures of a sort. Soon I go back over these lines with a nib pen dipped in india ink to preserve the ideas formed by these pencil markings for all time. Yet for the past few weeks when I sit at my table I just see a vast blank page that refuses to change.

I seriously don't imagine this to be writer's block, or at least not in its common form. It seems to be more of a fear or dread based blockage. I want to write and draw but then I start thinking about tomorrow and the day after. Will I be able to maintain this, and if so, then for how long? Do I want to start up the comic strip again, I know I won't be able to maintain a daily or even three times a weekly, so why even start.

But I have to start. Something deep inside of me cries out to be expressed. But what is it? I don't have a story to tell, do I? Where do I even begin if I do have a story? Well, I guess there's always the begining but that's lame. Oh well never mind.

See what I have to deal with? It's like this all the time. My mind takes off and while I am not able to think of a good place to start a story, I am able to sit and fabricate a story in my head that has my comic strip leading to the fall of Western Democracy and assorted plagues throughout the undeveloped world. I need an outlet for all of this energy, but all of that potentential energy fails to become kinetic.

So I sit. And I stare. And I never begin again.

My Space

The new house has one feature that sold it to me; an office. The previous owners had converted a two-car garage into a playroom. They had a pool table and some chairs in it and lots of boxes. I saw the room as a potential office and studio for my cartooning. The color scheme is/was horrible and the lighting was deplorable, but it was a separate space just for me. I said early on that I was paying 300 grand for 460 square feet that happened to have a five bedroom house connected to it. They could do as they wished with the house and yard, but that 460 sq. ft. was sacred space reserved for me and they agreed. Immediately upon moving in someone discovered that her desk would fit perfectly in one corner of the space. It would just be that one corner and she needed space to work also. Then little by little the room filed up until now I have a small computer desk in one corner of "my" office.

So tonight I made my stand. Granted it was weeks over due, but I stood up and put the foot down. Everyone has to get out. I don't care where, but with 2200 sq. ft. outside my office door I'm sure they could make do. Now I'm the bad guy. I wonder if I really am the bad guy. I just want an office that I can go to and work or relax. Just my space to be alone in. But judging by everyone's reaction that may be too much to ask.

How does one go about explaining to one's family that while he loves them dearly and would die for each and every one of them, at the same time he would prefer that they get out of his room and find somewhere else to be for an hour or two?

Today was a perfect day to work on my new comic strip project but instead I just sat and watched old episodes of "Battlestar Galactica" on Hulu.com. What was it Brad Guigar said? "Grow up and work if it's important to you" or something like that. Maybe I should work on doing that. But the first step is to claim my space. Plant my flag so to speak.

Too Much Free Time in the Tropics

Okay, I know there are worse things than being stuck in a tropical paradise staying in a four-star resort eating free food and drinking free cocktails. But this is Free to Kvetch and I know if you've read many of my older posts you'll find that I can complain about anything. So here goes.

It's hot, it's humid and I'm not a person that is comfortable in relaxing situations. A couple years ago someone suggested that I use a relaxation CD that helps reduce stress and calm my nerves. I gave it a try and ten minutes into listening I got a nose bleed. Thankfully the nose bleed stressed me out enough to return me to my normally stressed-out self and I was able to get through the situation but I threw the CD away. I can not sit on a chaise lounger next to the pool and relax. It is one of the most uncomfortable situations I can imagine. I hate short pants and only wear tee-shirts as an outer garment when I'm mowing the yard or working outside in the yard. I don't even like to wear jeans.

This has lead to many strange experiences in my life. When I try to dress-down and look relaxed I'm told that I look very uncomfortable and like I'm trying to force myself to relax. Is something wrong with me? Right now I'm sitting on the balcony looking down at a gathering of people relaxing around the pool, laughing and having a good time. The thought of joining them makes me very uneasy. I don't really think it is a psychological disorder like Social Anxiety or General Anxiety Disorder (which I'm sure I have and that just makes me anxious thinking about it). I just don't think I ever learned to relax. On the farm if you had time to relax and lounge around it meant important work wasn't being done. Only rich, lazy people relaxed.

So now I don't live on the farm I have lots of free time and what do I do? Now don't get me wrong, I do not like to work all of the time, as a matter of fact I hate to work. But it's almost like I'm ashamed of myself relaxing in public. I'll lounge around the house and watch TV all day or surf the web reading blogs and webcomics, but I do that in the privacy of my own home where others can't see me.

Maybe their should be relaxation classes that you could take and learn the right way to relax 'cause I don't think I'm doing it right when I try it on my own.

Worlds Away

I'm sitting on the balcony of my room at a very nice hotel/resort/spa that my company has seen fit to locate me in while I await an important meeting. Granted I'm not too keen on traveling this late in the summer. I should be at home working on the house and getting ready for the onslaught of fall holidays.

Reflecting on this past summer is a bit tough. I can't help but feel that I have let things slip a little too much on the Jewish front. I live in the constant fear that I'm not doing enough to ensure our kids get the Jewish education that they need in order to survive in this goyeshe world. What kind of example do we set when we are too tired from work to go to minyan. It's not that tough and for the most part it's only thirty or forty minutes out of the day.

Lots happened this summer. In May we bought a house. It's not a new house, but it's new to us. Everyone finally has a room and things are starting to settle down as we all look around and realize we are home. I keep waiting for that feeling to come to fruition. I come home, but it's not "home" yet. We still have to build memories and traditions at this new house. Almost immediately after closing on the house I was off on travel for the day job and spent most of the summer working away from home. And now as High Holy Days approach I am once again on travel. I'm really growing tired of the travel, but the money I get from doing this jobs is what's making it possible to buy the house that we all love.

As a family we spent exactly zero time at shul from the time we moved until now. It got so bad that the Rabbi actually sent me an e-mail last week to make sure that we were okay and planning to come back. I'm sure things will improve once the school year starts and we get back into the routine of Wednesday Hebrew School, Saturday Junior Congregations and Sunday Religious School. I remember some years that I would feel more at home in my shul than at home. We have close friends at shul but now after taking about three months off and being vacant I wonder how much of a friend they think we are.

My daily observance has waned more than I would like it to be. It seems almost strange to get back into my routine now that I've taken so much time off. And again I wonder what kind of example I'm setting for the kids. Are they thinking, "Being Jewish is cool, as long as it doesn't interfere with whatever else I want to do."? Because that seems to be what's going on now. I have to learn to make a stand in my house. I have to be Gandalf and say "This far and no further! You SHALL NOT PASS!"

As a bright spot this will be the first year that we build a sukkah in the backyard as this is the first year we've ever had a yard. I've been researching sukkah designs and think I've come up with a very workable plan using galvanized brackets from Home Depot, about 20 2x4s and a lot of tree cuttings. It should work out and if it does I'll post pictures.

Another routine I need to reestablish is using my blog. It seems I get fired up about something, post it, and then disappear for a year or so. Maybe I should use Rosh Hashana and rededicate myself to being more active in my shul, blogging regularly and growing as a person. Nah, that sounds a lot like work, and right now I have all the work I can stand.

They're calling it "the simple line"

Wow, I really need to update more often. I finally started a new job and it has been keeping me busy. I could be updating more often but I've been reading a lot of webcomics lately and thinking about getting back into that game more seriously (I even bought new pens!).

Want to see what I'm reading? Check out some of the following:

PvP: Player vs. Player
Starslip Crisis
Sheldon
Evil, Inc.

These four mega-stars of webcomickery can be found online at Halfpixel and you can always listen in to their podcast each week at Webcomics Weekly.

Everybody Sit Down and Take a Breath

I know I can't be the only person that is exhausted after the past few weeks. Tishrei is non-stop action every year. I know it's coming, I remember it from last year, but it always seems to surprise me how active it gets around here.

First just the number of times we're going to shul. I love going to shul, but I never realized how much time it takes when you have to go. This year with Rosh HaShanah starting on a Wednesday evening provided us with a very busy schedule. Between the Holidays and our regular weekly activities of Sunday Religious school I think we almost moved into the shul.

In a period of twenty-six days I was at shul about thirty times (more or less). During this same amount of time any other month I'd be there about twelve to fifteen times. But it wasn't so much how many times we were in the seats but how busy we were this year. This was the first year that I have been really involved in our Men's Club and also the first year I seem to been involved so much in the "goings-on" at shul.

When it was over I was sitting at home relaxing, wondering if there was some forgotten service I should be attending on Columbus Day and I realized that all the times we were there, the Rabbi was there. Not only was he there, he was working his tail off. I am truly amazed at how much he has to do and put up with every week in general, but the High Holy Days have to be insane for him. We can't be paying him near enough. So this year I applaud you Rabbi, thanks for all the hard work you and the staff do every day to keep this place going. Sit a spell, take a load off and if at all possible take a vacation, you deserve it.

Smoking, it can kill 'ya!

Yes, I confess, I am a smoker. I wish I weren’t. I've tried to quit, and will try again, but for now I am a smoker. I try to be polite about my smoking. I don't smoke near anyone (except other smokers), I never smoke where children can see me, and I always feel guilty when I smoke. Plus I don't smoke on Shabbat or Yom Tov. Granted sometimes I'm making a break for the smokes as soon as I can after Havdalah some nights, but for the most part I can make it a day with no problem.

Today, as I casually glanced at my calendar to make sure all preparations had been made for the High Holy Days, it finally hit me; Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. When we start Rosh HaShanah on Wednesday night I won't be able to smoke again until Saturday night (approximately 7:30-7:45pm) and Sunday is the Fast of Gedalia from Sunrise to Sunset so no smoking then. And then I start thinking about how stupid it is to go the Ten Days of Repentance asking HaShem to seal my name in the Book of Life while I'm smoking a cigarette, so I could, theoretically go from the evening of September 12 until the evening of September 22, smoke free (and somewhat more guilt free than usual), at which point I may as well quit entirely.

Then again Sukkot will be just around the corner and smoking near a Sukkah can be a very dangerous prospect, so there could be eight more days...

Maybe I should check on the patch and see how that works.

Any way in case anyone is actually reading my blog nowadays, L'shana Tova everyone! May this be a sweet new year for us all!

Four Orphans, Four Stories

People who know me know that I still like comics. Yes, I'm one of those weird thirtysomethings that reads comic books. Recently I started thinking about four tragic stories that come to us from the pages of these books. Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Martian Manhunter. All four lost their families and all four have these tragic events lead them to become heroes. I have taken these stories and rated them on "sadness" or "tragedy". From least to worst, in my humble opinion:

1. Superman. We all know the classic tale of a "strange visitor from another planet". Baby Kal-El was placed in a rocket ship by his father and sent to Earth to escape the destruction of his home planet of Krypton. He was found and adopted by a loving couple that raised him on their small Kansas farm where he learns to be a good upstanding man and soon to be a super man. I list him as the least tragic of the four because although he lost his parents (and entire world for that matter), this happened while he was an infant. He was raised by a loving couple as their own and didn't realize where he came from until he was much older. In some versions of the story the Kents also die, but again much later in his life.

2. Spiderman. Peter Parker lost both parents when he too was an infant, and was taken in by an elderly couple, his uncle and aunt. Again, much like baby Kal-El, he was raised as their own in a loving home. He really doesn't experience tragedy until Uncle Ben is killed (because of Peter's inaction) and then moves on to become a hero. It seems most of the tragedy in Pete's life comes after gaining his powers.

3. Batman. Another classic DC hero. On the way home from the movies with his parents little Bruce gets to witness his parents gunned down in front of him when he's only eight years old (in the original tale his mother dies of a heart attack from witnessing the father's shooting, but either way they both die). He is fully aware of the two people he loves the most having their lives ended in front of him by a petty thief. This of course leads him to come to spend the rest of his life avenging their deaths by taking down an endless supply of criminals.

4. Martian Manhunter. J'onn J'onzz is, in my opinion, the most tragic of the comic book superheroes. Much like Superman he lost his entire world, except J'onn was an adult when it happened. I can't imagine not only losing my family and everyone that I love, but everybody I know or could have known. Yes, Mars is still there, unlike Krypton, but its a dead planet. It just sits there reminding him of all the death. Every NASA mission to find life on Mars shoves it into his face that everyone he ever cared about is gone.

So what do we learn from this? Hold tight to the ones you love and let them know how much you love them often, because you never know when you might become America's next superhero.

On Philadelphia and Other Moments

This year marked the first time in the history of our family that we took an actual family vacation. It was the first (and possibly only) time that we all went somewhere together (since the arrival of the youngest two), and the first time we went somewhere just to go somewhere. No loving relatives waiting on the other end, no friends from the past or present. We packed up the vehicles and drove to Philadelphia.

The drive up was relatively uneventful, just a couple missed exits over a six hour drive is not bad compared to some of our trips. One strong word of warning for anyone taking exit 22 from I-95 North trying to get to Christopher Columbus Boulevard, watch what lane you are in and what you are doing or you will unexpectedly find yourself in lovely Camden, New Jersey by way of the Ben Franklin Bridge and paying a $3 toll to get back into Philly.

Next word of advice, try to become somewhat familiar with public transportation of the city before you arrive. Having a working knowledge of the SEPTA would have saved many blocks of unnecessary walking through some interesting neighborhoods.

The "King Tut and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs" exhibit at the Franklin Institute was somewhat of a let down for me. I have honestly been waiting more than thirty years to see Tut. I remember reading about it in National Geographic when it was here way back in the 70's and when I heard it would be back I wanted to see it (or possible wait until I am in my late sixties or travel to Mitzrayim to see it). This was not the exact exhibit that toured the US back then, but many pieces were very interesting. Don't get me wrong it was a great exhibit with many beautiful pieces, but much like my experience of waiting sixteen years between "Return of the Jedi" and "Phantom Menace" nothing could live up to my expectations.

I was surprised to see a stone carving of Pharaoh Amenhotep IV (aka Akhenaten) and family praising the sun disc of Aten. It was amazing how clean the cuts and polished the stone appeared. I had seen photographs of this carving in the past while reading about the history of monotheism and the theories of a connection between Amenhotep and Moshe, but to see up close something I had seen on History channel was pretty cool. The radically different style of representing faces of statues during the Amenhotep period was also very interesting.

One thing I didn't enjoy, and I'm not sure if this is a common practice a big exhibits, was that the tour dumped out into the King Tut/Egypt Gift shop. A lovely little place packed full of people buying stuffed mini-pharaohs and getting their names in hieroglyphics engraved on gold fobs. You could also purchase a replica of Dr. Zahi Hawass' field hat for forty-five bucks, but I decided to pass. All-in-all I enjoyed the exhibit and thought it was very interesting. Our oldest (One-of-Five) was very interested as he has had a significant interest in archeology for the past decade or so.

We stopped in Logan Square (or Logan Circle, depending on who you ask) and let the kids play around the Swann fountain as we adults took the opportunity to sit on the benches and rest our feet. As we continued back towards our hotel my son noticed flags lining the Benjamin Franklin Parkway and then noticed what appeared to be the flags of the U.S., Israel, and Mexico flying in front of the Cathedral of Sts. Peter and Paul. I was unable to ascertain the purpose of flying those three particular flags there (if anyone knows, let me know). I saw the Holocaust memorial and realized that I was standing in the exact same spot that I was standing exactly seven years earlier when I first visited Philly for Fleet Week 2000.

Day two involved the standard tourist view of Philly. We parked close to the Historic district and walked to Independence Hall. During our tour of which we had a bit of an incident. As we were touring the Hall, the twins started to become a little unruly. I took one and worked my way to the back of the crowd and the wife was getting the other twin and following. During this one of the other guests approached us and asked if we could leave "for the rest of us". What irked me the most about this was that we were already leaving. Goodness gracious it must have taken real courage to approach the people already leaving and ask them to leave. I wonder if it made him feel like a hero when he walked back to his wife a say, "Yeah I got them to leave"? In any event I was already frustrated, had a three year old crawling up my head with claws fully extended and really didn't have time to deal with another moron. I made eye contact and said something like, "Yeah, buddy we're looking for a way out now, so back off" in a very grouchy tone (and possibly including more profanity and at a little higher volume than I would normally deem appropriate for the situation).

The rest of Day Two went without too much incident. I would recommend if you ever visit a city that provides Ride the Duck tours, take the tour. We were able to close out our trip back taking a fun-filled ride through the city's historic district. The tour guide pointed out many sites throughout the area that we had completely missed on our walking through the city.

Well I'm sure that many things from our trip were left out, but I haven't posted in a long while and it took a couple days just to type all of this up.

Hey, Whadya Read?

I was looking at my daily blog roll this morning and started thinking about why I read who I read. Hirhurim is actually the reason I found the Jewish Blogosphere to begin with. I "met" Gil Student online years ago when my wife (who wasn't my wife at the time) had started her conversion process (after about a year of me trying to talk her out of it). She found an online community on the Delphi Forums and introduced me to online Judaism. After my time in the military I lost contact with the folks on those forums as my life was in a state of upheaval, but one day I logged in and started posting with folks, trying to see what had been happening to everyone in the three or four years since I had written to them last. That's when another friend of mine sent me a link to Gil's new "blog".

Hirhurim is definitely the deep end of the pool for me. I'm always interested in what he has to say, but I don't always understand it. From there I started looking around for more Jewish blogs. That's when I discovered that JewFAQ had an associated blog called "Jewish in a Gentile World". We had used JewFAQ many times in the past for research as we added new rituals and observance into our home and it was a nice resource. As I scanned around blogger I found a couple links to "Dry Bones" by Yaakov Kirschen. I had read Dry Bones for years in other online sources, but now I had a steady source.

As I continued to search around I ran into the others from various links in blogs I would read or searches I would make. I found "On the Fringe - Al Tzitzit" by Shira Salamone while searching for a Conservative viewpoint. From there I found links referenced in various posts that took me to such exciting places as Orthomom, Psychotoddler, and Seraphic Secret. Seraphic Secret brought back old memories when I finally realized that the blog was posted by Robert J. Avrech who wrote one of my favorite movies from a very tough time in my life.

I was living in the Deep South and feeling very alien and alone when "A Stranger Among Us" came out. It was something Jewish to grasp onto and connect with (even if it wasn't my flavor of Judaism at the time). When I went to boot camp three years later, it was one of the movies we watched on Sunday mornings during our chapel time. Just to explain that one, we had our primary services on base on Friday evenings, but then on Sunday mornings since everyone else would be in their religious services we would meet again and daven Shacharit and then spend the rest of the time watching a movie with a Jewish theme and discuss it. The movies ranged from the "Fievel" movies to "Gentleman's Agreement" and it was a great time.

So several of my links have a long personal history to them and some of them I've only recently found and enjoy reading every morning. But I always keep an eye open for new blogs to add to the list and either get a new viewpoint or find someone I agree with.

I Hate my Job

I really hate my job. Honestly. I lay in bed every morning and dread going to work. Some days the only reason I get out of bed is to daven. If you've ever seen the movie "Office Space" you've seen more or less my situation at work. Except he had a much nicer work environment than I do, and a higher job satisfaction than I could ever hope to achieve.

We were discussing this sad situation in the parent's lounge while we waited for our kids to finish Sunday Religious School last week. I was asked what I liked to do, and I had to answer, "Not much". How do I want to spend my days? I would like to be able to go to minyan everyday, go to synagogue and spend time with my family. That is it. My only hopes of ever reaching this Nirvana-like experience is to someday win the lotto or retire. I really don't want to wait to be able to afford to retire as that may take another fifty years or so and I don't think I have that kinda time.

So I buy "Mega-Millions" tickets. When the jackpot gets really high I'm tempted to start bargaining with the Almighty. Here's the deal, if I win several hundred million dollars we both win. Automatically He gets ten percent right off the top, pre-tax dollars. Then with the rest of it I will take care of my family. How? Well the younger kids will be switched to the Hebrew Academy immediately, Camp Ramah every summer, and have the best Jewish education money can buy. Plus we would start a few foundations to teach the children the importance of tzedakah and helping the community. Next, I wouldn't have to work anymore, so I could fill my days going to minyan (we always need more people to show up) and working on the shul's website and just puttering around helping out where I can. I wouldn't even want any plaques with my name on them.

But I'm sure this kind of bargaining with the Supreme is wrong on several levels, so I don't even try. But I'm probably in trouble just for thinking it out this much.

 But I still buy tickets, and if I win...

Virginia Tech

I sat in my office and watched as the events of yesterday morning unfolded on the news and could do nothing. We all just watched as CNN, Fox, and MSNBC reported and we were all shocked as the death toll kept going up.

Panic struck me as the toll went into the twenties, do any of our kids from shul attend V-Tech? I could only think of one young man for sure that attended. He had just returned from a year in Iraq and we all thought he was finally safe. Now this. We got word from his family this morning that he is safe and wasn't hurt. I felt relieved, but then I felt guilty for feeling that way, knowing what 32 other families had lost.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the victims of this atrocity and their families.

Pesach Passes Once Again

Once again we’ve survived living without Hametz for an unbearable week, or at least to hear my kids talk that is what just happened. I don’t see the big deal, but of course I love macaroons and the only time they show up in our pantry are during Pesach. Strangely macaroons are one of the only Pesach supplies that we always run out of early.

The community Seder was interesting. Apparently the other Conservative shul in town decided not to have one and many of our members decided not to attend ours. Net result was that when we arrived probably 65-70% of the attendees were from the other shul or non-affiliated. Without doubt the part of the evening I enjoyed least was OPC—Other People’s Children. Granted I grew up in a very strict home where punishment was quick and severe for any disruptive behaviour in public and you were removed from the situation at the first sign of disruption to be “realigned”. I fully understand that we live in a kinder gentler world now, and kids are no longer soundly beaten for just doing what kids do, but there has to be a limit. And to make matters worse, it only takes one wild child to set off all of them. They seem to feed off each other’s energy and the destructive force they can deliver is almost Biblical in nature. I’m not asking people to beat their kids (as a once abused child myself, I didn’t care for it then or now) but I am asking that people do more than stand across the room, hands at their side in a calm voice saying:

“Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains, daddy doesn’t want to have to replace another set,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains...”

And repeating this for what seemed to be fifteen minutes. Obviously what you are doing is not working, please try something else.

But we survived, more or less, and moved on. Did I mention I love macaroons? I do, it’s my peaceful place.

Son One shocked me after the Seder by informing me he would be getting up early the next morning and going with me to services. I say I was shocked primarily because Son One is NOT a morning person and generally has to be dragged out of bed every morning for school or synagogue. But he was up, showered and dressed before I was and actually participated in services. I was very proud of him as he had the honor to return the Second Torah to the Ark. I was then shocked even more when he did the same thing again for the second day of services and this time was honored by removing the first Torah from the Ark and leading the procession. Such nachas from one who at times is such a hard-headed son.

Son Two had his birthday Sunday, which is always interesting. We always try to have his birthday early so he can have cake but this year we had a lovely hametz free chocolate cake that tasted surprisingly good. Much better than the ones I’ve had in the past. I spent most of the day trying to find a specific video game for him and when I didn’t find it had to deal with the fact that I’m one of the worst fathers in the history of fatherhood. Yeah, right. My grandmother always told us that you “pay for your raising” and explained that all the torment you provide your parents while growing up will be returned to you via your own children. Son Two’s kids and I will someday have a long talk about this.

Did I mention macaroons?

Chag Kasher V’Sameach

The house is abuzz with final cleaning preparations. I have just finished using this wonderful pressure steam tool to clean the remainder of the kitchen (always the last place we clean). And I have to tell you it is a miracle device. I wish I had one of these things years ago. All I did was fill the tank with cold water, plug it up and wait for the water to heat up. When it did I press a button and hot steam under pressure comes blasting out the nozzle (with brush attachment included) and it cleans EVERYTHING! There were stains on the counter that have been there for months that nothing else would take off and this thing just vaporized them. But wait, what about the hood over the stove? That greasy mess just wiped away (along with some of the paint that I hope no one notices to be missing)! And what about the corners, you may ask? Got a tool for that too!

Okay, I may have started having fun at one point, but either way the kitchen is now clean and I’m going to bed, so I’ll just wish everyone a Chag Kasher V’Sameach.

Poker Night

In following with my attempts to expand my social network and participate in more Men’s Club events, I attended last night’s Men’s Club Texas Hold ‘em Qualifying game thingy. There were only five of us but it was really nice just hanging out with the guys and playing poker. Even nicer was the fact that I won!

I am many things, but a poker player is not one of them. I fully believe in beginner’s luck now. Granted I didn’t win anything other than bragging rights and a seat at the finals, but I finally won something. And I got to hang out and drink soda and stay up late.

Geez, I’m a real dork. I need to get out more.

Haircut Day

Today was the Twins' Upsherin. Honestly some days it seemed like this day would never get here.

Although the boys looked cute enough when their hair was pulled up into little puffs, I had long since grown tired of explaining to people that they were little boys (yes, both of them; yes, I know their hair is long; yes, they are adorable; no, we’re just waiting until they are three…) and I’m sure that their Mother and Grandma were well past tired of having to comb it out every day to keep it from becoming a tangled mess.

Due to the miracle of mixing my Scot-Irish genetics with their mother's African ones the kids have a really beautiful type of hair that is totally unlike anything either of our families are familiar with, and oddly enough except for the twins, no two of them have a hair texture that is identical to the others. Son One is has dark thick curls that look more Hispanic than anything else, while Son Two’s looks are as African as his mother’s, Daughter has this mass of dark brown curls that turns to this odd Shirley Temple-like collection of curls when freshly washed and then the Twins have this light-brown, tightly curled, angry hair.

So, in any event, the big day finally arrived. We gathered our friends and family in the Temple library and had the first Upsherin our Conservative shul has ever had. Ironically this is also the same room that the Twins' came to for their bris. I told the rabbi the next big shul event for the Twins shouldn’t include any kind of cutting or they might think there was a pattern forming and try to avoid the place.

My little men are growing up so fast. They amaze me at how different they are from each other and other times how much the same they are.

Blood Drive

Today was our big blood drive with the American Red Cross. While the blood drive was going on I helped put together our shul’s new sandbox for the playground. I would have liked to have given blood, but due to some of the countries I visited while on Active Duty I can no longer give blood.

This disappoints me more than you would think. Before I joined the military I gave blood every time I was able to do so. I remember when I got my little gold pin for giving my first gallon. I still have it locked away in a box somewhere, but now I don’t like looking at it. It just reminds me that I can no longer give. Giving blood was the one thing that I could do for free and help so many others.

So I built a sandbox.

Of Sinners and Saints

Being of Scot-Irish descent I grew up in a home where St. Patrick’s Day was a major holiday. As I came into my Jewishness I gave up the major Christian holidays right away and with little or no thought. Christmas and Easter were easy to give up as I had waned in my observance of them years before and had got them out of my system so to speak. The two holidays that caused the most problems for me were St. Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day.

From early in my dating career I tried explaining to potential significant others that as a Jew I could not in good faith celebrate a day that commemorated a Christian saint. Most were fine with this idea, but a few came to the first February 14th I didn’t buy anything and the problems would arise. No chocolate, no jewelry, nothing. We would go through the usual rounds about St. Valentine’s Day being a secular holiday and it being “Valentine’s Day” instead of “St. Valentine’s Day," but I wasn’t going for it. I had heard the same arguments for Christmas and to some extent Easter early on in my Judaism and I applied the same reasoning to not celebrating those dates. As a rule I do not commemorate Christian holidays for any reason, no matter how secular the day has become. No Christmas, no Easter, no Halloween, and no Valentine, period.

Then, in one of those rare convergences of the Hebrew calendar and the Civil calendar, more rare than Hanukkah and Christmas aligning, more rare than Pesach on Easter, in 2003 St. Patrick’s Day (17 March) was the same day as Taanit Ester (the Fast of Esther) and Purim started at Sunset! My two cultures were merging into one festive alcohol laden event. Needless to say my date was upset when she found that I had even noticed that the two days coincided (and would not again do so until 2049). Years of being depraved of chocolate and precious gems in February turned this lovely woman into a Banshee. How dare I even think of drinking a drop that night?

“What” she asked me, “is the difference between the two? You won’t celebrate Valentine’s because of its tenuous Christian connection, so what is the difference?”

I had but one answer,

“Beer”