Hi, It's the Holy Days!

It seemed as if the High Holy Days came early this year, but as one online member of the /r/Judaism subreddit said, they're starting the same time as always, first of Tishrei. I guess the Gregorian months are late getting started this year. Either way, on the Tuesday after Labor Day I tore off the August page of my desk calendar and saw a month of highlighted holidays starting less than a week away.

This year I finally put together enough intestinal fortitude to confront my anxieties and contact the synagogue's office. I had a pleasant conversation with the shul's director and discussed the fact that I had indeed left a significant balance on my account when we stopped attending ten years ago. They were happy to give me a clean slate and start my new solo membership but I had to express my regret over the old past-due balance. It was agreed that if I felt morally obligated to address that balance I could make up for it by donating to the various charitable funds at the shul until it was "paid off" so to speak.

That conversation happened back in mid-August, and then I kept finding excuses not to stop by the office. That was until I saw that Rosh HaShanah was less than a week away. I quickly stopped by and dropped off my membership paperwork and picked up my tickets for Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. It was great catching up with the director as she was a friend of ours when we attended regularly in the past.

This week I tried very hard to keep Yom Tov properly. I set the lights on timers and attempted to do things correctly. I even put a small throw blanket over the television to remind me not to use it. More than that, I guess it was to remind me if I used the television I was making a conscious choice to do so.

I woke up early and took a Lyft to shul. This was a combination of thoughts. Not wanting to take up valuable parking space was one, but more importantly not wanting to get a ticket for my expired car inspection. Eventually, I want to move into the same neighborhood as the shul so I can walk every day. I've already made note of two nearby apartment complexes and a very nice house. The apartments I can make happen as soon as my current lease expires, but the house would take a good sized lottery win. Then there's the issue with the quality of the apartments not approaching where I live now for the same price. Maybe no one else will pick 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 on the next few lotteries.

I enjoyed Rosh HaShanah services well enough. I had my usual complaint that more people were there to catch up and have conversations than those who were there to pray. I did notice, however, that there were more empty seats than I ever remember seeing. My first year at High Holiday services here in 2000 was a packed house and we had to sit in the balcony. There were people on folding seats in the kiddush hall. This year there were maybe 10 people in the balcony and many empty seats in the sanctuary proper.

I fear this is part of the Conservative erosion I keep reading about and not limited to our shul. Already we have had to combine forces with our sister shul from across town in order to maintain a daily minyan throughout the summer. It appears this is a long-term arrangement and I see several flyers for joint programming events between the two congregations. It would make me very sad if we ended up having to merge congregations at some point (especially if I end up buying a house within walking distance of the shul that ends up being shuttered).

For whatever reason, I was set upon with overwhelming anxiety all night and only slept for about two hours. This lead to me just not feeling up to attending on the second day. I really wanted to go but I didn't feel adequately rested until about noon. I stayed home and tried to do some reading.

To make matters worse, we currently have a hurricane heading our way. The stores were a madhouse over the weekend and I failed to get supplies before Rosh Hashanah started and had to wait until the end of the second day. That's when I found out that my office was going to be shut down in preparation for the storm for the next few days so this will be a week at home.

I don't know why people can't understand my "out of office" message telling them I was off for the holiday. This obviously goes back to the differences in how Gentiles and Jews observe their holidays. More so, I guess, how the non-religious don't observe. When I say I will not have access to phone or email it means I will not have access to phone or email not "I will not have access unless you call at least six times."

Hopefully the storm will not be so bad and hopefully, I can get back on track with blogging more often. New year, right?

Worlds Away

I'm sitting on the balcony of my room at a very nice hotel/resort/spa that my company has seen fit to locate me in while I await an important meeting. Granted I'm not too keen on traveling this late in the summer. I should be at home working on the house and getting ready for the onslaught of fall holidays.

Reflecting on this past summer is a bit tough. I can't help but feel that I have let things slip a little too much on the Jewish front. I live in the constant fear that I'm not doing enough to ensure our kids get the Jewish education that they need in order to survive in this goyeshe world. What kind of example do we set when we are too tired from work to go to minyan. It's not that tough and for the most part it's only thirty or forty minutes out of the day.

Lots happened this summer. In May we bought a house. It's not a new house, but it's new to us. Everyone finally has a room and things are starting to settle down as we all look around and realize we are home. I keep waiting for that feeling to come to fruition. I come home, but it's not "home" yet. We still have to build memories and traditions at this new house. Almost immediately after closing on the house I was off on travel for the day job and spent most of the summer working away from home. And now as High Holy Days approach I am once again on travel. I'm really growing tired of the travel, but the money I get from doing this jobs is what's making it possible to buy the house that we all love.

As a family we spent exactly zero time at shul from the time we moved until now. It got so bad that the Rabbi actually sent me an e-mail last week to make sure that we were okay and planning to come back. I'm sure things will improve once the school year starts and we get back into the routine of Wednesday Hebrew School, Saturday Junior Congregations and Sunday Religious School. I remember some years that I would feel more at home in my shul than at home. We have close friends at shul but now after taking about three months off and being vacant I wonder how much of a friend they think we are.

My daily observance has waned more than I would like it to be. It seems almost strange to get back into my routine now that I've taken so much time off. And again I wonder what kind of example I'm setting for the kids. Are they thinking, "Being Jewish is cool, as long as it doesn't interfere with whatever else I want to do."? Because that seems to be what's going on now. I have to learn to make a stand in my house. I have to be Gandalf and say "This far and no further! You SHALL NOT PASS!"

As a bright spot this will be the first year that we build a sukkah in the backyard as this is the first year we've ever had a yard. I've been researching sukkah designs and think I've come up with a very workable plan using galvanized brackets from Home Depot, about 20 2x4s and a lot of tree cuttings. It should work out and if it does I'll post pictures.

Another routine I need to reestablish is using my blog. It seems I get fired up about something, post it, and then disappear for a year or so. Maybe I should use Rosh Hashana and rededicate myself to being more active in my shul, blogging regularly and growing as a person. Nah, that sounds a lot like work, and right now I have all the work I can stand.

Everybody Sit Down and Take a Breath

I know I can't be the only person that is exhausted after the past few weeks. Tishrei is non-stop action every year. I know it's coming, I remember it from last year, but it always seems to surprise me how active it gets around here.

First just the number of times we're going to shul. I love going to shul, but I never realized how much time it takes when you have to go. This year with Rosh HaShanah starting on a Wednesday evening provided us with a very busy schedule. Between the Holidays and our regular weekly activities of Sunday Religious school I think we almost moved into the shul.

In a period of twenty-six days I was at shul about thirty times (more or less). During this same amount of time any other month I'd be there about twelve to fifteen times. But it wasn't so much how many times we were in the seats but how busy we were this year. This was the first year that I have been really involved in our Men's Club and also the first year I seem to been involved so much in the "goings-on" at shul.

When it was over I was sitting at home relaxing, wondering if there was some forgotten service I should be attending on Columbus Day and I realized that all the times we were there, the Rabbi was there. Not only was he there, he was working his tail off. I am truly amazed at how much he has to do and put up with every week in general, but the High Holy Days have to be insane for him. We can't be paying him near enough. So this year I applaud you Rabbi, thanks for all the hard work you and the staff do every day to keep this place going. Sit a spell, take a load off and if at all possible take a vacation, you deserve it.

Smoking, it can kill 'ya!

Yes, I confess, I am a smoker. I wish I weren’t. I've tried to quit, and will try again, but for now I am a smoker. I try to be polite about my smoking. I don't smoke near anyone (except other smokers), I never smoke where children can see me, and I always feel guilty when I smoke. Plus I don't smoke on Shabbat or Yom Tov. Granted sometimes I'm making a break for the smokes as soon as I can after Havdalah some nights, but for the most part I can make it a day with no problem.

Today, as I casually glanced at my calendar to make sure all preparations had been made for the High Holy Days, it finally hit me; Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. When we start Rosh HaShanah on Wednesday night I won't be able to smoke again until Saturday night (approximately 7:30-7:45pm) and Sunday is the Fast of Gedalia from Sunrise to Sunset so no smoking then. And then I start thinking about how stupid it is to go the Ten Days of Repentance asking HaShem to seal my name in the Book of Life while I'm smoking a cigarette, so I could, theoretically go from the evening of September 12 until the evening of September 22, smoke free (and somewhat more guilt free than usual), at which point I may as well quit entirely.

Then again Sukkot will be just around the corner and smoking near a Sukkah can be a very dangerous prospect, so there could be eight more days...

Maybe I should check on the patch and see how that works.

Any way in case anyone is actually reading my blog nowadays, L'shana Tova everyone! May this be a sweet new year for us all!