Hi, It's the Holy Days!

It seemed as if the High Holy Days came early this year, but as one online member of the /r/Judaism subreddit said, they're starting the same time as always, first of Tishrei. I guess the Gregorian months are late getting started this year. Either way, on the Tuesday after Labor Day I tore off the August page of my desk calendar and saw a month of highlighted holidays starting less than a week away.

This year I finally put together enough intestinal fortitude to confront my anxieties and contact the synagogue's office. I had a pleasant conversation with the shul's director and discussed the fact that I had indeed left a significant balance on my account when we stopped attending ten years ago. They were happy to give me a clean slate and start my new solo membership but I had to express my regret over the old past-due balance. It was agreed that if I felt morally obligated to address that balance I could make up for it by donating to the various charitable funds at the shul until it was "paid off" so to speak.

That conversation happened back in mid-August, and then I kept finding excuses not to stop by the office. That was until I saw that Rosh HaShanah was less than a week away. I quickly stopped by and dropped off my membership paperwork and picked up my tickets for Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. It was great catching up with the director as she was a friend of ours when we attended regularly in the past.

This week I tried very hard to keep Yom Tov properly. I set the lights on timers and attempted to do things correctly. I even put a small throw blanket over the television to remind me not to use it. More than that, I guess it was to remind me if I used the television I was making a conscious choice to do so.

I woke up early and took a Lyft to shul. This was a combination of thoughts. Not wanting to take up valuable parking space was one, but more importantly not wanting to get a ticket for my expired car inspection. Eventually, I want to move into the same neighborhood as the shul so I can walk every day. I've already made note of two nearby apartment complexes and a very nice house. The apartments I can make happen as soon as my current lease expires, but the house would take a good sized lottery win. Then there's the issue with the quality of the apartments not approaching where I live now for the same price. Maybe no one else will pick 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 on the next few lotteries.

I enjoyed Rosh HaShanah services well enough. I had my usual complaint that more people were there to catch up and have conversations than those who were there to pray. I did notice, however, that there were more empty seats than I ever remember seeing. My first year at High Holiday services here in 2000 was a packed house and we had to sit in the balcony. There were people on folding seats in the kiddush hall. This year there were maybe 10 people in the balcony and many empty seats in the sanctuary proper.

I fear this is part of the Conservative erosion I keep reading about and not limited to our shul. Already we have had to combine forces with our sister shul from across town in order to maintain a daily minyan throughout the summer. It appears this is a long-term arrangement and I see several flyers for joint programming events between the two congregations. It would make me very sad if we ended up having to merge congregations at some point (especially if I end up buying a house within walking distance of the shul that ends up being shuttered).

For whatever reason, I was set upon with overwhelming anxiety all night and only slept for about two hours. This lead to me just not feeling up to attending on the second day. I really wanted to go but I didn't feel adequately rested until about noon. I stayed home and tried to do some reading.

To make matters worse, we currently have a hurricane heading our way. The stores were a madhouse over the weekend and I failed to get supplies before Rosh Hashanah started and had to wait until the end of the second day. That's when I found out that my office was going to be shut down in preparation for the storm for the next few days so this will be a week at home.

I don't know why people can't understand my "out of office" message telling them I was off for the holiday. This obviously goes back to the differences in how Gentiles and Jews observe their holidays. More so, I guess, how the non-religious don't observe. When I say I will not have access to phone or email it means I will not have access to phone or email not "I will not have access unless you call at least six times."

Hopefully the storm will not be so bad and hopefully, I can get back on track with blogging more often. New year, right?

Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right

I finally called my synagogue about renewing my membership. I called a week ago. It was around 4:00 PM, I had meant to call earlier but I had a day full of meetings. When I explained to the receptionist who I was and what I was calling about I was told that the person I needed to speak to had just walked in but they couldn't talk to me at the moment and she'd call me back when she had the time. I made sure they had my updated contact information and they hung up.

I'm sure they knew who I am. During our brief discussion I had mentioned I wanted to make sure there weren't any outstanding charges from our previous membership. The receptionist was able to pull up the names of my ex-wife and oldest son on the computer. So they have an idea of who we are/were.

Was it the Irish surname again? Did that throw her off? When she mentioned my ex-wife and son, I said, "Yes, that's my ex-wife and oldest son." Since my son still had his mother's previous name (which is passably more Jewish than mine) did the receptionist think I was the non-Jewish ex-spouse asking about membership? Is that why she and her co-worker are ignoring me? Is this what the kids call "ghosting"?

I'm more than a little frustrated by all of this. I'm hoping the office staff are truly busy and mean well, but unfortunately my mood lately has me thinking the worst of others.

If I wanted to be petty, I'd call them back and mention that the Conservative movement has been going through a few decades of implosion and they should be jumping at the chance to add qualified members. Maybe I should check out the Reform congregation just down the road from me, or the Modern Orthodox shul downtown? Both are considerably closer to me. Of course I don't think I would be happy with the Reform level of observance and I'm sure the Modern Orthodox wouldn't be happy with mine. So here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Everybody Sit Down and Take a Breath

I know I can't be the only person that is exhausted after the past few weeks. Tishrei is non-stop action every year. I know it's coming, I remember it from last year, but it always seems to surprise me how active it gets around here.

First just the number of times we're going to shul. I love going to shul, but I never realized how much time it takes when you have to go. This year with Rosh HaShanah starting on a Wednesday evening provided us with a very busy schedule. Between the Holidays and our regular weekly activities of Sunday Religious school I think we almost moved into the shul.

In a period of twenty-six days I was at shul about thirty times (more or less). During this same amount of time any other month I'd be there about twelve to fifteen times. But it wasn't so much how many times we were in the seats but how busy we were this year. This was the first year that I have been really involved in our Men's Club and also the first year I seem to been involved so much in the "goings-on" at shul.

When it was over I was sitting at home relaxing, wondering if there was some forgotten service I should be attending on Columbus Day and I realized that all the times we were there, the Rabbi was there. Not only was he there, he was working his tail off. I am truly amazed at how much he has to do and put up with every week in general, but the High Holy Days have to be insane for him. We can't be paying him near enough. So this year I applaud you Rabbi, thanks for all the hard work you and the staff do every day to keep this place going. Sit a spell, take a load off and if at all possible take a vacation, you deserve it.

Haircut Day

Today was the Twins' Upsherin. Honestly some days it seemed like this day would never get here.

Although the boys looked cute enough when their hair was pulled up into little puffs, I had long since grown tired of explaining to people that they were little boys (yes, both of them; yes, I know their hair is long; yes, they are adorable; no, we’re just waiting until they are three…) and I’m sure that their Mother and Grandma were well past tired of having to comb it out every day to keep it from becoming a tangled mess.

Due to the miracle of mixing my Scot-Irish genetics with their mother's African ones the kids have a really beautiful type of hair that is totally unlike anything either of our families are familiar with, and oddly enough except for the twins, no two of them have a hair texture that is identical to the others. Son One is has dark thick curls that look more Hispanic than anything else, while Son Two’s looks are as African as his mother’s, Daughter has this mass of dark brown curls that turns to this odd Shirley Temple-like collection of curls when freshly washed and then the Twins have this light-brown, tightly curled, angry hair.

So, in any event, the big day finally arrived. We gathered our friends and family in the Temple library and had the first Upsherin our Conservative shul has ever had. Ironically this is also the same room that the Twins' came to for their bris. I told the rabbi the next big shul event for the Twins shouldn’t include any kind of cutting or they might think there was a pattern forming and try to avoid the place.

My little men are growing up so fast. They amaze me at how different they are from each other and other times how much the same they are.

Careful Which Meetings You Attend

My family have been members of our Temple for almost seven years now and in all of this time I have never joined any of the clubs or committees. The kids' mother has been a member of the Sisterhood since just about day one, but due to work commitments and exhaustion I just never participated in anything other than the regular religious services.

This year I decided to make a change. This would be the year that I finally joined the Men’s Club and started building my own social network at the shul instead of depending upon my daughter’s circles of friends. So I took the Daughter to Sunday Religious School and attended the morning minyan as I do each week and met up with the Men’s Club President afterwards. I told him about being a member of the shul for several years, etc. etc. and by the end of the meeting I had not only joined the Men’s Club, but I was also appointed Secretary of the Men's Club and invited to make inputs on the Sukkah project and join in on the sandbox project.

After the meeting I came to realize that the wives and mothers are the real political power at our shul. None of our projects interfere with theirs, none of our fund raisers can interfere with theirs, and we tend to move heavy things for them. Okay, fine by me. So nothing has really changed but now I get to pay membership dues.

Superman Attends Megillah Reading

Purim was especially fun for me this year as it was the first year we have been able to attend as a family since my time in the Navy and the arrival of the twins just a few years ago. In times past I’ve been away from home and missed out on many of the holidays so this makes any time I get to spend with the kids more special to me. This year Son One and Son Two (influenced I’m sure by advertisements for “The 300”) went dressed as a Spartan and a Persian, the Daughter went as Hadassah, and the Twins were both Superman. When they are a little older, I will try to explain the Jewish connection to Superman and how Siegel and Shuster were sons of Jewish immigrants and how they based the story of young Kal-L on Moshe being put in the basket to save his life.

This year we had an early service for the younger kids, which I think was a great idea over what we’ve had in the past. It was nothing too formal (if any thing about Purim can be considered formal). Rabbi, in his trench coat and fedora, holding an impromptu microphone was giving interviews to costumed visitors in his role as reporter for the Shushan Times.

At one point we rolled out the Megillah and all the parents held it up down the middle aisle as Rabbi read from it (paraphrasing into age-appropriate English). As he was reading Twin #1 saw the two rows of grown-ups holding the scroll between us and started striding down the middle as if he was a king (or Lord Vader) with his cape gently billowing behind. Twin #2, however, spent this time jumping off the step to the bima. At the end of the young children’s service the kids' mother took the twins home and I stayed with the older kids at shul and we sat through the actual Megillah reading. I was surprised that Son One stayed with me throughout the entire service instead of needing to “go to the bathroom” (which years ago I deciphered to mean “hang with his friends in the atrium”). Son Two, though, decided he needed to “use the bathroom” early on and was mortified that I had the gall to come out to the atrium and remind him where he needed to be.

Tents and Ladders

When I first starting looking into the Conservative Movement with my wife and going to conversion classes with her our rabbi made the analogy of observance being like a ladder. Over time you could take on a new observance and take another step up the ladder. Slowly over time you would become more observant and not burn out by trying to take on too much at one time. Since then I’ve heard this analogy made by others and I have heard the idea behind it expressed in different ways. Whether it be “baby-steps” or “one step at a time”, or “small bites” it seems to be a plausible way to get to a goal that seems overwhelming without becoming overwhelmed.

As time went on I began hearing and reading about the idea of a “big tent”. Somehow the Conservative Movement would produce policies and accept decisions that would create a “big tent” under which Jews with diverse beliefs, interpretations, and practices would find shelter and Conservative shuls would serve as the catch-all synagogues for those with beliefs in the grey area between Orthodox and Reform. In my opinion, this has created one of the greatest problems for Conservative Judaism. We almost invariably describe ourselves as in-between Orthodox and Reform, or by what we are not, instead of defining what we are. Judging by the CJLS decisions and the various practices of Conservative shul I have visited there is no clear consensus as to what we are or what we believe. Emet ve-Emunah presents a nice statement of the principles of faith for the Conservative Movement, but even there much room is left for interpretation.

I read with interest many posts and articles concerning the Cohen Report on the JTS survey concerning the recent CJLS teshuvot on same-sex unions and gay ordination. I was really interested in the results of the survey regarding Observance of Shabbat and Kashrut. Actually, I was shocked by some of the results. The survey focused on Clergy (Rabbis and Cantors), Professional Leaders (educators, executive directors, etc), and Lay Leaders (congregational presidents, USCJ board members, congregational board members, etc).

Within any religion it seems that the clergy and leadership will always be somewhat more observant than the laity, but it seems in Conservative Judaism there is a wider gap (almost a chasm) than with other branches of Judaism. While the Cohen report does not address the observance of the membership[1] it does address the ritual observance of the clergy and leadership.

It shows that a large number of respondents don’t believe Torah was written by God or by Divine inspiration. A quarter of the rabbis responded that Conservative Judaism should stop pretending it is a halakhic movement. And the responses concerning Kashrut are even more surprising. After reading the report I am surprised anyone in the movement considers Conservative Judaism to be halakhic. When I talk to lay members of synagogues I visit and self acknowledging Conservative Jews I am consistently surprised at how many consider themselves to be “good Jews” and leading a halakhic life while ignoring some of the most basic rules of halakha.

I am nowhere near perfect, nor am I anywhere close to where I want to be in my level of observance, but I recognize that I am not living up to the standards set by HaShem at Sinai and that everyday I wake up trying to do better.

I guess I have to change my position and acknowledge that without serious reforms Conservative Judaism cannot survive much longer. I can see no way for the movement to continue forward while it tries to apply the “big tent” principle to faith. Either the Conservative Movement needs to accept that it cannot accommodate every possible belief and interpretation or accept that it can no longer claim to be a halakhic movement.

I had a discussion with a gentleman at morning minyan last week about halakha and personal observance. He said he felt he was more than Conservative but less than Orthodox. I guess in some ways I agree. I just feel Conservative Judaism could be a viable alternative to Orthodoxy if it would just draw a line in the sand and say this far and no more. Yes, we would lose members; yes, some shuls would have to close, but Judaism would continue and eventually shuls would start to grow again and with a membership that was educated and observant.

Perhaps we need another Ezra to stand up and lay down the law, so-to-speak.

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[1] see “Jewish Identity and Religious Commitment: The North American Study of Conservative Synagogues and Their Members, 1995-1996” edited by Jack Wertheimer for an excellent discussion about this observance gap.

Six Could Get You Four...

While reading the recent Committee on Jewish Law and Standards (CJLS) teshuvot on the Halakhic Status of Gay Men and Lesbians and the associated survey, one thing really got my attention; they were teshuvot, not teshuvah. I was reminded of the old joke, “two Jews- three opinions” but in this case I guess it would be, “one Movement- three opinions”. As I spent my Tuesday night curled up with my laptop and notepad reading the teshuvot and the survey, I realized in essence the CJLS was saying “Yes, no, and maybe” all at the same time.

After reading all of the hoopla in the press about how the Conservative movement had embraced its homosexual membership and moving toward more tolerance and diversity, I was now finding out not much had really changed. By the same number of votes the CJLS had passed a teshuvah upholding the traditional prohibitions against homosexual acts. I was a little confused and decided I needed to learn a little more about the CJLS.

The Conservative Movement’s Rabbinical Assembly (RA) founded the CJLS in 1927. Currently the Committee is composed of 25 rabbis and 5 lay members. Only the rabbis act as voting members, while the lay members participate only participate in deliberations.

When any six or more members vote in favor of a position that position becomes the Committee’s official position. As you math lovers out there may have noticed, six is not a majority out of twenty-five. So the Committee can end up with multiple positions, sometimes up to four, and sometimes almost opposing positions (and in some cases members will vote for multiple positions.

During my online readings and research I was able to find several lists of these Responsa produced by the CJLS, but I was unable to discover a comprehensive list. Apparently there isn’t a big book (or collection of books) that contains all of the Responsa.

I came across one Responsa from February of 1993 titled, “ A Principled Defense of the Current Structure and Status of the CJLS” which basically addresses the issue of whether the CJLS should even exist or exist in its current form. I, for one, agree that there should be a central Law Committee that serves to handle Halakhic questions for the Rabbinical Assembly, but I’m not entirely sure that I agree with the current method of making decisions. And I am more concerned that it seems some of the teshuvot seem to be influenced by public opinion.

It seems that, according to the Cohen Report, a large percentage of respondents to the JTS Survey agree with me on that point. On page 34 we see the results of the question, “Do you feel the decisions were an accommodation to political correctness?” 41% of Clergy, 43% of Professional Leaders and 49% of Lay Leaders agree.

This is not how Halakha works. Halakha is not decided by public opinion or political correctness, it is decided by Torah. Believing that, however, seems to put me in the minority of Conservative Jews. Some days it starts to feel like I was “sold a bill of goods” in regards to joining a Conservative synagogue.

When I read from “Emet Ve-Emunah”, which supposedly puts to print the principles of Judaism for the Conservative Movement I felt that I had found where I should be. From the Wikipedia article on Conservative Judaism (taken from Emet Ve-Emunah):

“The principles of Conservative Judaism include:

• A “dedication to Halakha… [as a] guide for our lives”;

• A deliberately non-fundamentalist teaching of Jewish principles of faith;

• A positive attitude toward modern culture; and,

• An acceptance of both traditional rabbinic modes of study and modern scholarship and critical text study when considering Jewish religious texts.”

I was in agreement. I read Maimonides Thirteen Principles of Faith and I agreed with what he said. Now I wonder if we should present the above principles and the Thirteen Principles in survey form and see what the clergy and membership agree and disagree with. I’m afraid I would be more saddened than surprised with the results.

I will address Halakha and observance in the Conservative Movement on Sunday and then I promise I’ll stop beating this dead horse (at least for now).

Much ado about something...

After I restarted this blog last week, I considered the possible things I could do that would help ensure both you and I would maintain at least a passing interest in this blog's continued existence. One way to improve the blog would come from my reading as much as I could everyday. Whether it be from newspapers, online news, novels, magazines, or online blogs, I would need to keep up-to-date on subjects that matter to me if I was going to have anything to express my opinion about or have discussions with you. Well I assure you that over the past four days my reading intake has spiked upward.

While surfing around the Jewish Blogosphere lately, it became readily apparent that the recent Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS) Survey of Conservative Judaism's clergy and lay-leadership was a topic under heavy discussion. To misquote the Trilogy, "Many electrons died to bring us this information."

The teshuvot on the Halakhic Status of Gay Men and Lesbians caused a great deal of discussion on their own in December, but now it seems the JTS survey addressing these teshuvot is causing a stir as well. I've lost count of the various blog entries that link back to one or more of the articles appearing on The Jewish Week website that address various points raised in the survey.

Anything causing this much discussion warranted a closer look. Like everyone else, I read the online articles with interest and took note of the opinions expressed by the writers. I decided to do something that I’m not sure many of my fellow bloggers had done, I went to the sources. It took a little searching but I found the survey and the teshuvot in electronic form and took them home to read. I spent my entire night focused on these documents (okay, except for a brief break between 9 and 10 EST to watch “House”). I realized: 1) my eyes really hurt and I need to wear my reading glasses as prescribed, and 2) I am really surprised that more hasn’t been written about the JTS Survey. It brings up much more than just the Gay and Lesbian issue. So I decided to address some of the points brought up by the articles on “The Jewish Week” site and also some of the points in the survey that I think are interesting and warrant discussion.

I feel, however, trying to jam all of this into one post would be a little ridiculous. So, in order to address these points to my satisfaction, and to present them in a manner that hopefully will be easier to read, I am going to be writing about them over the next few days. You can consider today’s post to be an introduction and background for the upcoming posts.

Conservative Judaism Doomed? The Answer May Surprise You!

On December 6, 2006, the Conservative Movement’ Committee on Jewish Law and Standards (CJLS) announced their decision addressing the issues of the ordination of Gay and Lesbian Rabbis and the performance of same-sex commitment ceremonies by Conservative Rabbis.

I first became aware of this ‘issue’ over the summer when I read about the CJLS decision to postpone the decision until later in the year. It is definitely a divisive issue that should not and could not be taken lightly. Even before reading about Conservative Judaism’s decision to address this issue, I had already formed some strong opinions on the issue of “gay marriage” and same-sex unions.

It has been my understanding that Judaism, in general, is much more tolerant of homosexuality than many other religions. According to Halacha, if I understand correctly, you can be gay, have gay thoughts and fantasies all day long and not be in violation of Halacha. It is only when you act on these feelings that violations occur. And even then, I’m personally not going to be judgmental of you for those actions. Considering how many violations of Halacha are being committed by your fellow congregants (me included) with regards to Shabbat observance, Kashrut, and daily observance, I cannot judge your life without considering myself to be a huge hypocrite.

I read an article from The Jewish Week titled “The End of Conservative Judaism” written by Michael J. Broyde. Since my earliest experiences with Conservative Judaism, at least once a year (if not more) I read or hear about the end of Conservative Judaism. After a while it starts to sound a lot like, “Apple Computers is going bankrupt and will be out of business soon”, but they’ve been going out of business for the past 20 years apparently yet my stock seems to be doing okay, so I’ll keep it just a little longer.

But this article was a little different and I think it was due to the subject matter addressed. Will the recent CJLS decision on allowing gay and lesbian ordinations and same-sex commitment ceremonies spell the end of Conservative Judaism in the long run? Will Judaism in the United States evolve into two primary groups, Liberal and Traditional? These are very good questions and he makes several good points in the article.

I have always thought of the Conservative Movement as the “third bowl of porridge”, not too hot, not too cold, but just right (for me anyway). Broyde says in the second paragraph:

The truth is that there is a grand divide in the Jewish community worldwide between two groups: those who think that Jewish law (halacha) is really, truly, binding and those who do not. This division is both religiously and culturally important — it reflects a basic worldview about what being Jewish really means. Throughout the world, other than in the United States, this distinction formed the basic denominational divide and one could well understand the need for almost a schism over this issue.

I don’t agree with the idea of there only being two ways of looking at this issue. I don’t think that this is an issue of on/off, black/white, or right/wrong. Conservative Judaism was created to fill that grey area. I truly believe there is a need to view Halacha through a modern lens. Times do change and our interpretations of Torah and Talmud do have to be adjusted to some degree. For instance, I disagree with several Orthodox understandings of Halacha and feel that these understandings go too far and prevent people from enjoying Judaism. At the same time I disagree with many of the Reform Movement’s understandings of Halacha and feel that they are too loose with their interpretations and this too prevents people from fully enjoying the benefits of Judaism. And so I am left with the Conservative Movement. Until recently, that is. I believe there is a limit to how far we can stretch this “modern lens” notion before we just lose all focus of what we are trying to see through that lens.

Perhaps, in the long run, it will spell the end of the Conservative movement as we know it today, but I think there will always be some movement to fill that middle ground between Reform (Liberal) and Orthodox (Traditional).

Regardless of what I think, or what you think, it’s a good article and worth the read.

Hattip: Hirhurim, but I'm sure plenty of others are posting about this by now.