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Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right

I finally called my synagogue about renewing my membership. I called a week ago. It was around 4:00 PM, I had meant to call earlier but I had a day full of meetings. When I explained to the receptionist who I was and what I was calling about I was told that the person I needed to speak to had just walked in but they couldn't talk to me at the moment and she'd call me back when she had the time. I made sure they had my updated contact information and they hung up.

I'm sure they knew who I am. During our brief discussion I had mentioned I wanted to make sure there weren't any outstanding charges from our previous membership. The receptionist was able to pull up the names of my ex-wife and oldest son on the computer. So they have an idea of who we are/were.

Was it the Irish surname again? Did that throw her off? When she mentioned my ex-wife and son, I said, "Yes, that's my ex-wife and oldest son." Since my son still had his mother's previous name (which is passably more Jewish than mine) did the receptionist think I was the non-Jewish ex-spouse asking about membership? Is that why she and her co-worker are ignoring me? Is this what the kids call "ghosting"?

I'm more than a little frustrated by all of this. I'm hoping the office staff are truly busy and mean well, but unfortunately my mood lately has me thinking the worst of others.

If I wanted to be petty, I'd call them back and mention that the Conservative movement has been going through a few decades of implosion and they should be jumping at the chance to add qualified members. Maybe I should check out the Reform congregation just down the road from me, or the Modern Orthodox shul downtown? Both are considerably closer to me. Of course I don't think I would be happy with the Reform level of observance and I'm sure the Modern Orthodox wouldn't be happy with mine. So here I am, stuck in the middle with you.


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