A Rosenstein by Any Other Name

Some days are better than others. Most days I don't even think about it, but then it gets shoved in my face and that's all I can think about. I'm talking about my surname, in all of it's Scots-Irish McGlory.

Invariably when introducing myself to a group of strangers there will always be one person who notices the disparity between my kippah and surname. Without fail I will get one of the following:

• Raised eyebrow (usually the minimum) 
• "Where do you daven/go to synagogue?" (more rare, but I think it's to check if I'm actually Jewish.)
• "Oh, is your mother Jewish?" (Not that I know of. Why, what have you heard?)
• "Oh, I didn't know that was  Jewish name." (Yet here I am.)
• "McSurname? What's with the yarmulke?"(Jews wear kippot, I'm a Jew.)
• "McSurname? Where'd the yarmulke come from?" (The Sisterhood gift shop at my shul.)
• "Did you convert to get married?" (No, actually my ex-wife converted after I did.)
• "Oh, so you're not really Jewish." (!קוש מיין אידישע טאָכעס)

I've thought about changing my legal name for many years. Recently I came across the name "Meyer" and it seemed like the perfect surname for me. I am of Scots-Irish and German heritage and "Meyer" is the one magical name that appears in Irish, German, and Jewish families. I'm sure I'd get past the bologna jokes eventually, but best of all I'd stop getting conversion shoved in my face and being made to feel "less than". 

I've mentioned this to my kids and ex-wife and they're of the mind to ignore the haters and keep my last name. I guess in a sense they are right. My issues with my name are mine and I shouldn't care what people think. But should and do are different words. I do let it bother me and I don't know how to get past it. On one hand I want to be bold and have a "deal with it" attitude. Any problem with my last name is your problem, not mine. While on the other hand, I feel like changing my surname would be the final step in shedding off my old life, albeit a quarter century after the process started. It would be the final embrace of my faith and people. 

But tomorrow I will wake up with the same name as today and I'm sure someone will raise an eyebrow or two and I'll still be Jewish at the end of the day.

And so it goes.