I Hate my Job

I really hate my job. Honestly. I lay in bed every morning and dread going to work. Some days the only reason I get out of bed is to daven. If you've ever seen the movie "Office Space" you've seen more or less my situation at work. Except he had a much nicer work environment than I do, and a higher job satisfaction than I could ever hope to achieve.

We were discussing this sad situation in the parent's lounge while we waited for our kids to finish Sunday Religious School last week. I was asked what I liked to do, and I had to answer, "Not much". How do I want to spend my days? I would like to be able to go to minyan everyday, go to synagogue and spend time with my family. That is it. My only hopes of ever reaching this Nirvana-like experience is to someday win the lotto or retire. I really don't want to wait to be able to afford to retire as that may take another fifty years or so and I don't think I have that kinda time.

So I buy "Mega-Millions" tickets. When the jackpot gets really high I'm tempted to start bargaining with the Almighty. Here's the deal, if I win several hundred million dollars we both win. Automatically He gets ten percent right off the top, pre-tax dollars. Then with the rest of it I will take care of my family. How? Well the younger kids will be switched to the Hebrew Academy immediately, Camp Ramah every summer, and have the best Jewish education money can buy. Plus we would start a few foundations to teach the children the importance of tzedakah and helping the community. Next, I wouldn't have to work anymore, so I could fill my days going to minyan (we always need more people to show up) and working on the shul's website and just puttering around helping out where I can. I wouldn't even want any plaques with my name on them.

But I'm sure this kind of bargaining with the Supreme is wrong on several levels, so I don't even try. But I'm probably in trouble just for thinking it out this much.

 But I still buy tickets, and if I win...

Virginia Tech

I sat in my office and watched as the events of yesterday morning unfolded on the news and could do nothing. We all just watched as CNN, Fox, and MSNBC reported and we were all shocked as the death toll kept going up.

Panic struck me as the toll went into the twenties, do any of our kids from shul attend V-Tech? I could only think of one young man for sure that attended. He had just returned from a year in Iraq and we all thought he was finally safe. Now this. We got word from his family this morning that he is safe and wasn't hurt. I felt relieved, but then I felt guilty for feeling that way, knowing what 32 other families had lost.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the victims of this atrocity and their families.

Pesach Passes Once Again

Once again we’ve survived living without Hametz for an unbearable week, or at least to hear my kids talk that is what just happened. I don’t see the big deal, but of course I love macaroons and the only time they show up in our pantry are during Pesach. Strangely macaroons are one of the only Pesach supplies that we always run out of early.

The community Seder was interesting. Apparently the other Conservative shul in town decided not to have one and many of our members decided not to attend ours. Net result was that when we arrived probably 65-70% of the attendees were from the other shul or non-affiliated. Without doubt the part of the evening I enjoyed least was OPC—Other People’s Children. Granted I grew up in a very strict home where punishment was quick and severe for any disruptive behaviour in public and you were removed from the situation at the first sign of disruption to be “realigned”. I fully understand that we live in a kinder gentler world now, and kids are no longer soundly beaten for just doing what kids do, but there has to be a limit. And to make matters worse, it only takes one wild child to set off all of them. They seem to feed off each other’s energy and the destructive force they can deliver is almost Biblical in nature. I’m not asking people to beat their kids (as a once abused child myself, I didn’t care for it then or now) but I am asking that people do more than stand across the room, hands at their side in a calm voice saying:

“Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains, daddy doesn’t want to have to replace another set,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains,"
"Sarah, stop pulling the curtains...”

And repeating this for what seemed to be fifteen minutes. Obviously what you are doing is not working, please try something else.

But we survived, more or less, and moved on. Did I mention I love macaroons? I do, it’s my peaceful place.

Son One shocked me after the Seder by informing me he would be getting up early the next morning and going with me to services. I say I was shocked primarily because Son One is NOT a morning person and generally has to be dragged out of bed every morning for school or synagogue. But he was up, showered and dressed before I was and actually participated in services. I was very proud of him as he had the honor to return the Second Torah to the Ark. I was then shocked even more when he did the same thing again for the second day of services and this time was honored by removing the first Torah from the Ark and leading the procession. Such nachas from one who at times is such a hard-headed son.

Son Two had his birthday Sunday, which is always interesting. We always try to have his birthday early so he can have cake but this year we had a lovely hametz free chocolate cake that tasted surprisingly good. Much better than the ones I’ve had in the past. I spent most of the day trying to find a specific video game for him and when I didn’t find it had to deal with the fact that I’m one of the worst fathers in the history of fatherhood. Yeah, right. My grandmother always told us that you “pay for your raising” and explained that all the torment you provide your parents while growing up will be returned to you via your own children. Son Two’s kids and I will someday have a long talk about this.

Did I mention macaroons?

Chag Kasher V’Sameach

The house is abuzz with final cleaning preparations. I have just finished using this wonderful pressure steam tool to clean the remainder of the kitchen (always the last place we clean). And I have to tell you it is a miracle device. I wish I had one of these things years ago. All I did was fill the tank with cold water, plug it up and wait for the water to heat up. When it did I press a button and hot steam under pressure comes blasting out the nozzle (with brush attachment included) and it cleans EVERYTHING! There were stains on the counter that have been there for months that nothing else would take off and this thing just vaporized them. But wait, what about the hood over the stove? That greasy mess just wiped away (along with some of the paint that I hope no one notices to be missing)! And what about the corners, you may ask? Got a tool for that too!

Okay, I may have started having fun at one point, but either way the kitchen is now clean and I’m going to bed, so I’ll just wish everyone a Chag Kasher V’Sameach.